Wednesday, August 03, 2005


the d-Lowe

Derek has always reminded me of just a regular guy... a cute guy. Not too bright, occasionally prone to emotional fits one would expect from a five year-old. Easy-going, well-intentioned, but a little selfish, and occasionally sketchy.

I knew he was a cheater.

Just a gut feeling. Not like I was judging him, but I always pictured him as the type who finds a way to get laid on road trips. So this whole thing was not a huge surprise to me. Also I used to speculate, last year, that d-lowe was having personal problems at home. He just seemed unhappy, tense. I wondered occasionally if he and jason varitek had had some kind of falling out, or maybe just a drift. I could tell somehow that he was unhappy with his life, and would not be able to pitch as he really can at Fenway Park. But he pulled it out in the playoffs, and I had hoped a change in venue would help him out.

Looks like he's decided to change more than the venue.

I have to give Derek some credit, though. I imagined him being shallow enough to be content with fucking strangers on road trips. When I first heard about this, I didn't realize that Derek had moved out and asked for a divorce. This isn't a "Derek got caught having an affair" situation, Derek has left his wife Trinka (what kind of name is that?) for another woman, so Trinka is dragging details of it into the public in attempts to shame her husband into coming back to her. Yikes.

Trinka is angry, as we all would be, and is doing what she can to take revenge, including putting the other woman's job in question. For good reason, absolutely, but let's remember the kind of spite it's being done with. Derek wants out, and I'm sure he'll pay dearly for it, but those of us who have been in a relationship which has turned sour might be able to appreciate his position.

I started writing this to trash Derek, just like anyone else, and I find myself defending him. Because we don't know how shitty his marriage was. Trinka might be a raging bitch, how would we know? The way she's using his fame to take revenge by trying to publically embarrass him on the radio and internet... well she's certainly not proving otherwise. And this is not just some fling... Trinka has released phone records to prove that Derek has been talking on the phone with Carolyn Hughes at least four times a day since April. Sounds pretty heavy to me.

I don't know how many people got this e-mail that jere and I both got today. It was an article on the Lowe situation. I found out that the guy who sent it is a Dodgers fan, and he likes to heckle the opposing pitchers from behind the dugout. Oh, what the hell, I'll just quote him:

Send this out to all your fellow bloggers....just so you know my friend Tim
and I are probably the rarest of fans now....we actually believe we can turn the
tides of games and if given a seat behind the Dodger dugout...we do!! Our fan
noise is unparalleled from that distance and angle....we have in three tries
broken down three quality pitchers:
Adam Eaton (only loss of the year
when we had him on the ropes in April
Joe Mays (Twins)-
Friday.....the Card's.Matthew Christian Morris..(Matt Morris)...we chanted his
whole name and when we did,,half the time he bounced the ball in front of the
plate..LaRussa left him in way too long and we cntinued to wear the poor guy
down to when he fielded a dribbler, lhe looked lazily at Cesar Izturis at third
and strangely elected not to run him down to prevent him from scoring the tie
breaker...he wielded and threw to Pujols at first....allowing Izturis to

I think more teams can win with genuine fan
noise......."go go go go" does work and egging on the runner at first to lead
off, go etc,,,,,,does rattle the pitcher even if the guy at first weighs 275 lbs
and has never stolen a base..the dumb pitcher hears us two and eventually throws
over and forgets what the pitch call was from his catcher...I am telling you
this works..

Well that's kind of cool. If you have a loud mouth, instead of yelling into jere's ear, please try to get seats behind the dugout. Either one will do for this, I think. Personally, I neither have a loud mouth, nor a chance in hell to get seats like that, but I think anyone who does should give this a shot.

But now that I've decided to defend Derek for some strange reason, this doesn't seem like such a great idea:

Dodger fan here in the LA area.......and boy I hope Lowe does not pitch
here next Wednesday against the Phils or Friday against the Mets....cause we are
not kind as hecklers here to what I refer to trailer trash, wife beaters or

My chant and rant will be:

Hey Derek, you
win less that you LOSE
Now you shack up with HUGHES????

But you're a Dodgers fan, dude. Cut the guy some slack. Maybe he really loves the chick; who knows. Read the article you sent me. Lowe wants a divorce. His wife is trying to turn his public against him. Yes, he's a cheater, but things aren't always what they seem, especially with the media spin. You don't have to agree with what he's doing in his personal life to root for him... he's on your team. I think you should say what you feel, but not to throw off his game, the way you would an opposing pitcher.

But hey, that's just what I think. And since it's my blog, I guess I can write whatever I think. And if you disagree, you can feel free to say so in the comments.

Edit: While my new Dodger-fan friend has not made any comments, he continues to send me interesting stuff about the situation. Naturally, I am starting to get google and other search engine hits on this topic, so I've decided to feed the frenzy by adding good links & pics on the subject as they come about. Here's an abc news piece.

You know, Reb, this Lowe affair hasn't even made it to the Boston media, much less Hartford. I had no clue.Am I wrong on this??
I just found out about it yesterday myself, through sam. But I went looking, peter n*, to see... Dirt Dogs put something up on it yesterday (what a shocker that the BigDog leaped onto that nasty situation.)

One of his links is from yesterday's Boston Herald; and here's a new one from today. I'm sure if I look around, I'll find more locally. The Herald casts this situation in a slightly different light, but I maintain my suspicion that Derek was already unhappy at home, or at least cheating somewhat regularly on the road before he left Boston.

But in this type of situation, everyone's got their own version of the truth.
I've kind of suspected D.Lowe was a cheater ever since I saw his interaction with Erin & Jessamy on the Still, We Believe movie. All I know is, starting pitchers don't recognize me in the stands at away ballparks, much less ask me to turn around so they can see if I'm wearing their jersey.

I also have heard from a friend of mine that someone he went to high school with fucked D.Lowe several times. Obviously second-hand "friend of a friend" information, but I started thinking of D.Lowe as kind of a man-whore after that.

As far as the wife thing goes, I think pretty much every player cheats on his wife. I think just about all of them "find a way to get laid" in other cities. I mean, all of them. Even the ones you think, "no, not him." Personally, I think that if you're a ballplayer's wife, you should essentially be prepared to be cheated on. I think the balance in many ballplayer marriages is that the wife gets the "title", so to speak - she has the house, the last name, the money, the legitimate kids. I think a lot of baseball wives sort of turn a blind eye the rest of the time.

This situation with Derek is totally different. I think if he was just cheating on Trinka with this woman, we'd never have heard about it. But the fact that he's moving out, asking for a divorce, professing love for her...all of that threatens the wife. Hence her public panic.

Personally I think she should give it a rest, though. At this point, she's gotten the news out, he's probably being hounded, everyone's gossiping about it, now she should just let it be.
I totally agree that all ballplayers have cheated at one point... there's just way too much opportunity and temptation, and guys often get confused between their two heads. I'm not sure that they all do it all the time, though. There are a lot of fundamentalist Christian ballplayers, particularly on the sox. That may be what Trinka is referring to as "more of a family-oriented ballclub." These guys (like schilling, timlin, possibly trot, billy) would be offended by such antics, and keep each other accountable, depending on how serious they are about it... it's sortof a "in the world, not of the world" weird sheltered culture, that fundamentalism crap.

As far as Trinka goes, I don't know if you've ever been in this position, Beth, someone you love and have invested years of your life in, leaving you for another woman. I have, and I can't even express to you how DARK and DESPERATE that place is. It's a black hole of emotion, where logical choices do not exist. I feel for her, I really do.
Doesn't DLowe have kids? THEY'RE the one's I really feel for.
In the end it's probably more healthy than having parents that stay together & not love each other, but this stuff is traumatic and really hard for kids to understand.
in the context of the great deep emotional abyss that Trinka (jesus it's hard to take someone seriously with a name like that)is most likely going through, I'd have to say that trying to hold her shit together in front of her kids might be the hardest of all. Think of Heather Clement with her four year-old last week, for the maybe ten minutes when she didn't know her husband's condition... Anyone would lose their shit, but you have to hold it together and pretend everything's going to be ok in front of your kid. ten minutes is hard enough; imagine it day after day, especially if you go to the grocery store and see pics of your husband and another woman on trashy mag covers.
//I don't know if you've ever been in this position, Beth, someone you love and have invested years of your life in, leaving you for another woman. I have, and I can't even express to you how DARK and DESPERATE that place is. It's a black hole of emotion, where logical choices do not exist.//

honestly, i haven't, and i can understand where you'd feel for her. i feel for her too but like i said, a lot of these guys live a "certain lifestyle" seems to me like a lot of these wives know what they're getting into. but maybe not. and agreed re the kids.
don't you think it's hilarious how many people I am defending in this situation? In this type of situation, there are a lot of sides to the story, and no one really wants to hurt anyone else... But in the end everyone looks out for #1, and we have to, because who else will? Of course it's Sarah Hughes who I feel the least for, because that's just unprofessional.

//it seems to me like a lot of these wives know what they're getting into.//

absolutely the wives know what they're getting into, but they're probably naive about getting to keep the crown.
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