Saturday, September 17, 2005


Skatin' the Fine Line

I pulled up to the paint store yesterday, and I wanted to drive off before I even went in. Your stereotypical yank fan was manning the desk. I peeked around, hoping to see the good sox fan somewhere in back. No dice. I hardly ever see this guy, and I wasn't expecting him. And I had that feeling, that stomach-sinking feeling I haven't had in almost a year... I couldn't scoff at the cockiness today.

"one an' a haff," he leers at me. Sleeze.

"Closest sniff you guys are gonna get," smiling confidently. Sometimes you have to fake confidence in order to BE confident.

"I don't know if there's a discount on this or not..." I say, holding up a spray can of coverstain, mostly to remind him that I get a discount.

"Not fer you, wit' dat hat... don' worry, I'm just kidden." I wish our boys would pick up their bats and wipe that smirk off his face. Seriously. Why should I have to put up with this shit? The way the yanks have been playing this year, they have no business in the race at all.

"Nex week, neeexx weeeeek..."

"You mean in two weeks?"

"no, nex week."

"Last weekend of the season. Two weeks. Oh, those games won't mean anything," I tell him, oh so wishing I was as certain as I sounded. I smile broadly and as I walk out of the store, I know that three guys are reading the words "SOX FAN" on my ass. "Good Luck" I call with a smile, not turning back as my eyes roll, exiting the store.

And honestly, there's a tiny part of me liking this situation, as if it's a plot being played so prettily... yank fans have awoken, dragged out their dusty egos, and they wear them with swagger. They boast of their great comeback into the race, and claim that we are "goin' down."

I suppose stranger things have happened. ;-)

Yank fans can taste the playoffs, which seems unthinkable with the year they've had, and still is rather unlikely. But yank fans, having watched ten straight years of October ball, can't even imagine a season without the playoffs. In fact, many people tune in to watch the yanks in the playoffs and genuinely call themselves "fans" and even go so far as to arrogantly refer to the 162 game regular season as "the yankees preseason". Believe me, I live among these folk. This is how they think and they do not think twice about it. Did I say think? Well that's what spews out of their mouths, anyway. And they brag about it.

It's an emotional set-up. *I hope I hope I hope I hope* The thought of the yanks failing miserably, having been technically eliminated from the playoffs weeks ago can only be climaxed for me by this scenario in development. The unlikely hope... Crushed. It's only appropriate. It's called Karma, people. Everything comes back around. For right now, because of their recent history, it only seems right that the yanks just barely miss the playoffs... By a hair. Yes, think how good that will be. How much better than the security we wish we had right now.

Still it's a bit frightening. I don't claim to know the future. I root for Cleveland... Then pull back, wondering if I should. It could backfire so easily. Sometimes we take heart in believing that our cheers and rituals and offerings can make a difference; Sometimes we take solace in knowing it may not.

And so we watch our boys teeter on the tightrope... Last night it was Timmy holding that rope tight. His flutter has been ON of late, his support not worthy.

Have you seen these BATS, boys? Are you aware that you are known collectively as the best in MLB at using them? Could you please demonstrate why that is?

Ah, but I digress. What I wish to impart with you, my compatriots, is that this one-and-a-half game thing is not so ominous as it seems. The yanks have been winning games they should not *ahem, ALL YEAR* tonight, for example. And we all have seen firsthand too many games to count gone wrong for the good boys. As we well know, things always seem their bleakest before they get better. As pathetic as it may seem for the "most potent offense in baseball" to win by a bases loaded hit-by-pitch, we'll take it... and we'll run with it.

So kick up your confidence, kids! Jere's got the right idea. (although for some reason I'm getting a "forbidden" message with this picture all of a sudden. I'm more convinced every day that Charter Communications is run by a bunch of MFY Nazis.) And look for me soaking wet in field box seats tonight, thanks to Andrew. (oh dear theo, I've never met Andrew before, and he's seen my picture on the internet. I sure hope I am not abducted!)

Andrew is good luck when he goes to the games. With the power of you and he sitting together, the bats will come alive and we'll score 10 plus runs Sunday. That win coming hot on the heels of the pasting the Sox gave the A's on Saturday night. Oh, I like these new rose colored glasses. P.S. Those guys in the paint store are lucky to see your behind in the first place, be it a Yankee or a Boston one. Great weekend to you Rebecca. P.P.S. This cracked me up. The letters in the ID system that enabled me to post were...assny!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope we are good and lasting mojo; It's tonight's game we are going to. Writing past midnight had me all messed with the today's and tomorrow's. I think I shall change the time and date of this post, rather than the rest... it's just easier.
oh, but I decided to change all the today & tomorrow's instead. because people will be reading it today. easier for everyone else is probably better than easier for me?
I'm more confused, but still have a blast tonight.
Damn. You've discovered my master 'blog photo subject abductee' plot. It would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids.

Peter - I wish I was good luck, but as of right now I'm dead even with the Sox: 5-1 at Fenway, 1-5 at Skydome.
perhaps paint store guy needs to be reminded that no matter what the sox do this year, they cannot choke as bad as the chokers did last year.

it is impossible.
Oh yeah, we've definitely reached the point in the year where Yankee hats around campus cause that hot swoop of hat in my stomach. Awesome. Because I need to feel ill twelve times on the way to french in the mornings.
Even I am starting to give people wearing Yankee hats my most evil stare, even though over here 98% of them are worn as 'fashion' statements.
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