Wednesday, May 17, 2006


This Week's Skankee Fan Ranting

What was worse than witnessing first-hand the ridiculousness that was the MFY comeback last night? Try watchin' it with a YF. As Posado strode to the plate last night with two outs and the tying run in scoring position, my friend Jay says to me "come on, you love Posada." (no doubt responding to some remark of mine- perhaps I was using my sister's nickname for him, double-play Jorge, even though it didn't apply in this situation.) "Sure," I reply. "In a 'I love it when he pops up in a key situation' type of way." And in the back of my head I briefly acknowledge the worst thing that could happen here. Seconds later that exact worst-possible scenario plays itself out on my tv screen. And I must control my strong and violent urge to smack my guest silly as he celebrates in that obnoxious ever-so-smug MFY-fan way. Ah, the strict confines of hostessness... could I get around it by posting some sort of disclaimer sign?

Celebrate Yankee Success at Your Own Risk

Clear enough, do you think? I feel as if I should make it a bit more harsh... just so people would have no excuse as to what they should expect. Ah, but you know how those MFY fans are. Probably get all up in arms about "class"- you know, as if every bar and basement rec room in this area doesn't post that stupid "Yankee Fan Only - All Others Will Be Towed" sign. The standard skankee double-standard: they'll mock red sox fans 'til blue (with classy white pinstripes) in the face, but as soon as you cheer and smile, say when Mo gives up the go-ahead run in the top-o-ninth, they'll get on you for being "mean". As if rooting for the Rangers is some kind of crime against humanity or something.

This particular Yankee fan is obsessed with thinking that all good red sox players eventually become yankees, and the red sox organization is not "classy" enough to pay a player through to retirement. Come to think of it, the bro-in-law's pretty high on this concept as well. In fact, I've gotten an earful on this from every skankee fan I've run into lately; that must be their underlying theme this year. I wonder if you click on the "Pride, Power, and Pinstripes" it brings you to a page stating the official club harassment techniques for the season. Like it really bothers us that the management is smart enough to not pay the premium for a player in their decline. It's as if these people don't get it- or more likely refuse to. Acknowledge the economic purity of shying away from long-term contracts for players over thirty? Why, you just don't have to when you can take PRIDE in the POWER of not caring about the market price because you have so much god-damned cash to throw around in an anually-increasing desperation to add some 21st century hardware to those ever-classy PINSTRIPES.

I have to say, even with Coco on the DL, the most bothersome aspect to JD becoming a yankee (from my perspective) is having it hear about it in every other breath from said fans. They go on and on and on about it as if I care. It is so hard for them to believe that I don't. Not that I'm surprised, but it's important that you people outside of the big-apple area understand that it's not enough for the typical MFY fan to sign a great free agent... their real pleasure comes in believing that it causes us pain. And I know that for some of us that's true. But I have to wonder if the gloating in my ears is more annoying because in my case it's just NOT. To hear these people harp on it, it's like they all believe the propaganda that the dude's Jesus or something. And now, with the current shortage in the Bronx outfield, with Johnny being the big team player and throwing more and more and more mileage on that sore shoulder... Well, I am not one to wish ill on the man, but I do inwardly chuckle as I think of the length of that contract he signed.

So in accordance with the theme of "Red Sox don't have enough class to re-sign their best players," I hear a lot of "who's next to become a yankee" speculation. "Wakefield will become a yankee eventually, you just wait and see," is my favorite for the sheer absurdity and clear lack-of-understanding for the contract-concept side of this issue. Manny Ramirez, of course, is the most believable to be thrown out there, and with the grooming of Wily Mo somewhat palatible, but not even Steinbrenner's likely to touch that contract... This guy Jay, in typical Italian-American machismo, is claiming Damon was lured over to the dark side by Jeter threatening "You come play for the yankees or I'll steal your wife." I'm sure you all can feel my hysterical laughter when he said Jeter was going to try this one on Papelbon next. (I mean aside from the whole practicality of Jonathon still with years left in his rookie contract, there's a slight believability issue in the prospects of that happening with a sleezy ex-stripper vs. the charming southern girl Pappy's married to.)

Get me a valium, people; It's the next day and I still can't come down from that one.

I always rely on the sheer absurdity of some of the Yankee trade moves these past 2 or 3 years. That makes it better when something like last night occurs. I can't wait to get on the same field as them, and it'll happen so soon!
yankees? Class? Bwahahahahaha!

Red Sox Fans may boo, but "Fans" of DFyankees lace their heckles with unprintable language so foul, that all the brown soap in the world, couldn't clean up the language coming from their mouths.

I'm curious if those fans could spell even a quarter(I'm being generous here)of what they've been known to utter, after 7 beers in the Top of the 1st Inning?
Yeah the Wankees always pay their star players. I guess that's why Andy Pettitte signed with Houston after going 21-8 in the Bronx.
From Andy Pettite to Kevin Brown:

Can anyone say "Jay Buehner for Ken Phelps";

It makes one wonder just what kind of Crack did Doc Gooden supply to Brian Cashman?
Um.... is Macho Jay aware that Wily Mo was actually DRAFTED by the yankess in 1998??? Yeah, he was ranked as the #7 prospect in the Yankee organization in 1999....

So -- dude, you had him, but... probably traded him away for a 50 year old. Nice try, though! Thanks for playing!
hahahaha this was awesome and well written

manny wont be a skankee though

i was watching sportscenter today and he said his career is going to end on the Red Sox

and the Red Sox gave Jon Paps everything, i dont think he would stab us in the back like some other douche bags i could mention
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